There’s not much that shocks me but every now and again, I am backed up to the wall with the same kind of vigour a firehose exudes when ousting a rampaging fire.
This is exactly one of those moments.
Now, object sexuality or objectophilia is something that crops up in the news every so often. You know, the randomly weird stories of a woman falling in love with her table or a man making love to his car exhaust!
When these stories do arise, they are often the subject of ridicule – most of us just don’t get it!
And I am definitely one of those people that cannot get their head around this kind of thing.
So imagine the speed my jaw hit the floor when I came across the story of a Japanese guy that fell in love with a cockroach!
Yep…a dirty, stinkin’ cockroach!
Oh for sure…but for this guy, it was real!
This dude claimed he bought the cockroach from Africa and even had dreams of having sex with it but didn’t because, in his words; the size wouldn’t fit!!!!
He went on to say, he had often fantasised about a world where cockroaches were supersized or he somehow became small.
I couldn’t think of much else worse than that (besides supersized spiders) – but honestly….I’m at a loss for words!
I mean, he even named the roach Lisa ffs!
The story doesn’t end there though.
Sadly for this guy, after a year Lisa died.
Cockroaches tend to only live for a year so it was to be expected but guess what homie did with his dead lover?
He ate her!
He literally consumed the dead cockroach and declared she now lives on in his heart and as a part of his body!
*shakes in horror*
Can you honestly picture this?
Having a pet cockroach lover thing whatever, is one thing but to then eat it…
And don’t those things have the potential to lay eggs even after they die or some shit?
I remember being told that if you kill a roach, you have to clean up and disinfect the area because of the eggs that may be expelled afterwards.
I mean that could’ve been an urban myth or just one of those nonsense things you hear as a child but I’m not trying to take any risks with that and without sounding extreme, dude could have….yueeeew, OK, let’s not even go there!
I’m done with some humans you know….genuinely!
And further to that, this has to be a sort of bestiality no?