It’s not often that things relating to Donald Trump amuse me besides his wig hair and his blatant inability to run the states properly but that’s more tragic than funny, so imagine my face when I discovered what porn star; Stormy Daniels had to say about Trump and his lack of penis!
Stormy’s new tell all book; Full Disclosure goes on sale on 2nd October and in it, she talks about her sexual run in with Trump in quite some detail!
In quotes taken directly from the book, Stormy claims sex with the then future president was the least impressive sex she may have had and went on to describe his smaller than average penis as unusual with a huge mushroom head!
Huge mushroom head?
Yueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
She went on to say; ‘I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f–ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d–k like the mushroom character in Mario Kart’.
Yeti pubes?
A dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart?
What the hell?
My jaw is currently on the floor in horror – that is just gross, gross and GROSS!
I have visuals….bad, bad visuals!
Yuck!
So yeah, Stormy went there but obviously, Trump has denied having any kind of sexual relations with her *said in a Bill Clinton voice*
The book also talks about how Trump offered to help her cheat on the hit TV show The Apprentice but forget that, I’m still stuck on the mushroom dick bit!
Imagine, that whole thing could be part of the reason why he acts like a complete arse.
Maybe he feels inadequate down below and being the president of the United States is undeniably the biggest cock extension there ever was…power in abundance!
But what about Melania? Poor Melania, poor, poor Melania.
I wonder if they even have sex anymore and if they do, does she just grin and bear the mushroom or does she really get into it?
Hmmmm, now there’s something to ponder whilst you’re eating you lunch!
But yes Stormy, thank you for the laughs, my day has been made!
