Let’s talk about: Micro-cheating

With social media attempting to rule our lives in one way or another whilst allowing us access to people from the past and those that we may never have been able to access without it, psychologists have agreed micro-cheating is a thing and is something we should concern ourselves with if in a relationship.

So what is it?

Micro-cheating is when a person indulges in a series of small actions which would indicate they are focused on someone outside of their relationship, emotionally or physically.

Examples of micro-cheating include; engaging in suggestive or sexually charged conversations with another secretly or lying about your relationship status in order to maintain the interest of another.

The problem with micro-cheating is not the individual acts themselves as these could be passed off as a bit of fun, or something to pass the time away but the truth of the matter is, micro-cheating could open the flood gates to something more.

Not only could it lead to full on cheating but it could also create tensions within the relationship and lead to jealously and distrust, especially if the micro-cheater doesn’t realise the impact of their innocent actions.

Is it real cheating?

In a nutshell, probably not but as outlined above, it can be the precursor to something more detrimental.

If your mind is focused on another, it can create a barrier between you and your partner without you being consciously aware of this.

So whilst micro-cheating is not physically cheating, many could regard it as the first stage in doing so.

If you find you are micro-cheating, you need to ask yourself some questions.

Explore why you feel the need to micro-cheat and once you understand yourself, address any issues with your partner before it becomes a real problem.


  1. Obviously, if micro-cheating leads to full-on cheating, then it was a catastrophic mistake, and a lot of time and energy has been wasted. Micro-cheating need not lead to cheating and smart people will keep it bright and breezy but, as I discuss in my book ‘The Crap Husband’s Guide To A Successful Marriage’, attached/married women absolutely love and positively thrive on the attentions of another man! It makes them feel alive and sexy, which can only be good for a relationship.


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